
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6392908.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Fruits_Basket_-_Takaya_Natsuki_(Manga)
  Relationship:
      Sohma_Hatsuharu/Sohma_Rin
  Character:
      Sohma_Rin, Sohma_Hatsuharu
  Additional Tags:
      Established_Relationship, brief_allusions_to_childhood_neglect, teenage
      love, Sexual_Content
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-03-29 Words: 4487
****** Secret Santa ******
by Merrow_(OriginalRandomFandom)
Summary
     Rin receives a gift from her personal Santa and remembers past gifts.
Notes
     I marked this as underage because I believe both Rin and Haru under
     the age of consent for Japan. I really suck at tagging, so please let
     me know if I should tag this more. This was written just over a
     decade ago, but I've chosen not to backdate it because a) I don't
     know exactly when I wrote it and b) it's never been posted to an
     archive other than my personal website.
     For years people have been asking me if my adult fanfictions were
     archived anywhere since my personal site for them went offline.
     Sadly, not even I had copies of them. The website was taken offline
     without notice to me, the computer I'd written them on had died and
     the backups had gotten corrupted. I thought they were gone forever.
     But just today I ran another search online, and I found that the
     Wayback Machine had archived a snapshot of the website and the text
     of the stories. I'm working on getting them all on AO3 and thought
     I'd start with this one since it was the shortest.
Rin contemplated the little wrapped box at the foot of her bed. Her face was
blank and her eyes changing back from expressionless to anger to something that
couldn't quite be named.
She crawled out from beneath the blankets and stretched out on top. Her bare
feet burrowed under the pillows for warmth as she rested her chin on her hands
and stared at the box now inches from her nose.
The wrapping was plain. Just green paper with a cheap store bought bow stuck to
the top. It wasn't something Tohru had wrapped, though Kagura's mother said
that was who delivered it. There was a tag. Rin was pretty sure knew what it
said.
Seemingly of their own volition her hands reached out to finger the tag. Almost
like an accident they flipped it up so that she could read the neat block
letters that spelled out the simple one word name.
"Santa," she breathed.
She sighed and sat up, her hands now wrapped tight around the package. There
was no way she was going to get her fingers off the package now. Not unless the
paper was torn off, and the package opened.
But she didn't want to open the package. If she opened the package another
little bit of her shield would crack and it was weak enough already. Right now
she had to be strong, she couldn't afford any weakening.
Her fingers roamed over the little box, wondering what was in there.
"Fuck!" She yelled and brought her arm up to toss the package away from her.
She imagined flinging it from her so it struck the wall and bounced off onto
the floor and under the bed. Out of sight, out of mind... no worries then.
But she couldn't do it. Tears pricked at her eyes as she fell forward arching
her back curling herself around the package. She fell into the memory of the
first time she'd first heard of Santa.
She and Haru had been playing a game. It was probably meant to be hopscotch,
but they didn't know the rules. They'd drawn the court like Haru had seen on
TV, but after that they didn't know what exactly they were supposed to do. So
they'd ended up jumping up and down the court aimlessly.
She didn't remember how it had come up. Maybe they'd been talking about their
classroom Christmas parties, or something. Probably Haru had read something
about him in one of his books. Santa.
"All over the world?" She'd asked, skeptical.
"All over the world." Haru nodded, jumping down the row of the chalk squares.
"But what if there aren't any chimneys?" She asked.
"He finds a way. But only good boys and girls."
"Oh." That explained it then, she thought. She tried to be good. But it didn't
work.
Haru heard something in her voice. "What?"
"Santa's never come to my house." She stopped jumping. This game was stupid.
"That doesn't mean you're bad." Haru's brow furrowed. "I've never gotten
anything from Santa either."
"But you are bad. You broke your desk at school when you got mad. And you threw
things at those boys in your class and..."
"But you didn't do anything," he said interrupting her. He didn't like to be
reminded of the things he did when he was black. It made him feel sad and sick
to his stomach.
She hadn't done anything that she could put a finger on, but she knew there was
something that made her Mommy and Daddy act... different the other Mommies and
Daddies. Santa not coming to her house was just another thing that told her the
truth that no one else spoke. She was different, she was wrong; she was bad.
"Rin!"
Her head whipped around. Mommy was calling. She turned and ran back to her
mother quickly, barely glancing at Haru as she went. Mommy and Daddy didn't
like her playing with the other Junninshi. It made them uncomfortable. Rin
didn't understand it, but she accepted it as the way things were.
Haru watched her go, silent as he was left behind.
That Christmas was the first time she'd found a little package on the end of
her bed. That time it had been messily wrapped, with too much tape and no box.
Just the gift and paper wrapped every which way in an attempt to cover it. And
on the tag in big block, uneven letters...
"Santa."
She'd breathed out the word in a soft, almost soundless whisper. She'd
scrambled out of her big bed and descended on the package. She ripped the paper
off and gave a happy gasp. It hadn't mattered what was in the package really.
That it was there meant that she wasn't bad. Or at least Santa didn't think so.
It was even better that it was something so wonderful, it a lovely doll with
long dark hair just like hers.
Rin dragged herself back to the present day. She didn't want to think about
what had happened to that perfect beautiful doll. She looked at the present
clutched between her breasts. The force of her hands was starting to crumple
the box. She uncurled herself and sat up holding the package loosely in one
hand. She used her other hand to wipe the tears from her eyes.
That wasn't the last of the gifts, there had been one every year, each
Christmas morning. An affirmation that someone thought she was good and worth
something. It didn't matter where she was, with her parents, in the hospital,
at Kagura's... Santa always found her and made her feel special again, year
after year. It hadn't taken too long for her to figure out that it wasn't
really Santa. It hadn't been much of a mystery as to who the secret Santa had
been either.
Somehow it had meant even more when the person who thought she was good was
him.
She hadn't revealed she knew for a long time. Not until after they'd been a
'couple'. They'd only had one Christmas as a 'couple' before... well, before.
That night she'd feigned sleep in her room at Kagura's house. 'Santa' always
came late at night, in the early hours just before dawn. She'd napped earlier
so the warm blankets and happy contentment that always overcame her at
Christmas wouldn't lull her to sleep.
Finally she'd heard it, the soft rustling at the window. She'd had to really
struggle not to flip over and show her hand too early. She wanted to wait for
just the right moment. She was surprised he was coming through the window...
she was on the second floor. Not that she hadn't used that way to get out some
nights when they'd run away to a secluded park together. But she'd always come
back in through the bottom floors. She'd expected him to sneak in that way.
Then she heard a soft step on the floor as he stepped off the windowsill and
into the room. Two more steps and he was over to the bed. There was a rustle of
paper and she knew now was the time.
She flung back her covers and sat up in bed on her knees. "Caught you, Santa."
She smiled triumphantly, making her whisper carry more weight than it's sound.
Haru had stood frozen, hand outstretched to place a small box at the foot of
her bed. He blinked at her.
"Santa?" She'd said hesitantly. Haru had just continued to stare at her.
"Haru?" She'd crawled towards him. He seemed at a loss. Maybe it was the
nightie, it wasn't any more revealing than what she usually wore.... but
sometimes he got that way over her under things too.
She pulled the package out of his hand, stroking her long nails over his
fingers slowly. "What did I get this year?" She looked up at him and sat on the
edge of the bed. She slowly unwrapped the present, watching him from under her
long lashes.
Tears pricked at her eyes when she reveled what was hidden in the little
package. It was a little bottle of perfume. It had a fancy black bottle that
had a horse's rearing head carved into it with lines radiating out from the
center. She lifted it up and examined it from all angles; the bottom was etched
with a word, 'Exotica.'
"Do... Do you like it?" Haru said startling her out of her examination of the
bottle. "I didn't know what to get you this year... the clerk at the store said
that was a popular brand, and there was the bottle..." His eyes were gray in
the darkness, his eyebrows puckering slightly, the only expression on his blank
face.
Rin had to swallow a giggle as she thought of the kind of store he had to go to
get this kind of perfume. It would have had to be one of those little
perfumeries or a high-class boutique. The thought of him in his leathers
hovering blank faced over some poor store clerk... But his concern was starting
to make his blank face shadowed.
"I..." She paused to sit back on the bed, "…love it."
She sat back on her knees and angled her neck, giving herself a spritz of the
perfume. The perfume was just the kind she liked, soft, subtle and not
overpowering at all. She smiled at Haru. She could see he was staring at the
soft length of her neck. It made a funny coil of emotion curl in her stomach.
She loved when he looked at her like that.
"I must've been a very good girl this year, Santa." Her dark eyes stared at
Haru watching the muscles of his arms tighten. Their relationship hadn't been
on that level for very long, but she'd quickly discovered how much she liked
being seductive. Haru was so sweet and gentle, but that dark fire that awakened
when she teased..."Or maybe I'm getting special favors because I'm so good at
being bad..." She spread her knees apart, leaning back on her hands, and
arching her chest forward. "What do you think of it Santa?"
Haru stepped forward and crawled onto the bed. "You aren't bad at anything you
do." He nuzzled at her neck, "Nothing..." He breathed deep of the perfume,
settling between her legs. "I like it." He kissed her neck lightly.
Rin gave a little sigh. This was even better then the perfume. Her hand came up
to cradle his head to her neck, reveling in the soft hairs tickling at her
neck. He kicked off his boots letting them clatter to the floor. She unfolded
her legs and lay back with her feet flat on the bed and her knees up. He
followed her down, still kissing at her neck.
His hands came up her sides and settled over her breasts. He kneaded at them
gently feeling the hard points of her nipples rasping through the fabric on his
palms. Her hands came up and met the annoying barrier of his leather jacket.
She ran her hands over his shoulders and under the stiff collar to push it
down. He took the hint and shrugged it off, but Rin wasn't satisfied. She
pulled her hands down over his stomach and under his shirt, pulling it up as
she caressed him.
She forced his hands off her so that she could get his arms up and his shirt
off. She took the opportunity to take the lead. She sat up a little kissing him
deeply, thrusting her tongue in his mouth. She forced him up straighter her
hands going down to the fly of his pants. Haru gave a guttural groan as she
brushed against his stiffness. He pushed her away a little, things were going a
little too fast for either to control.
Rin leaned back to give him a little space, but brought her legs up over his
caressing the back of his leg with her foot. "Santa," she pouted, "I thought
you said I'd been a good girl."
Haru grinned, he'd gone into that passion induced 'grayness' that she so loved,
not black not white, but something just she got to see.
"Very good." He said leaning down to give her a short kiss before nuzzling
again at the side of her neck. "That's why I want to make this very good for
you."
He began to move down her body. He kissed down her jaw, and laid a sweet line
of kisses down the hollow of her throat. He buried his face between her breasts
and Rin could feel his hot breath seeping through her thin nightie. She
shivered once and then again as she felt his hands creeping up the sides of her
body pushing the thin fabric up. Then his callused hands were caressing and
fondling at her breasts and hard nipples.
She squirmed, arched into his hands and wrapped her legs tighter around him.
With him moving down they now wrapped tightly around his backside. He moved
against her and she could feel his erection brushing against her panties. Then
his mouth was on her breasts and she gasped out loud.
He was circling the nub, and grazing it lightly with his teeth. He pulled at it
gently and looked up at her.
"Where?" She said her breathing heavy and her chest heaving. Neither of them
had all that much experience sexually, and that had been a lot more
sophisticated then their past amateur, yet satisfying, fumbling.
"I've been reading." He grinned and gave a lightly tongued kiss between her
breasts.
She moaned, "I thought I'd already gotten my gift, Santa."
"That was just a stocking stuffer." Haru breathed into her skin. His voice had
gone growly and rough in a way that made her shiver.
Rin gave a little sigh as his hands came back up to cover her breasts and he
continued to kiss wetly downward. "Jesus, what the fuck have you been reading,
Santa?"
His bulge was moving away from the area she wanted it. She tried wrapping her
legs tighter around him, but he was determined to move down, sliding slowly off
the bed. His hands slowly left her breasts and trailed slowly down her body,
lightly tickling at her skin.
Then his wet kisses stopped at the band of her panties. Her legs had become
wrapped loosely around his shoulders as he moved down to kneel on the floor.
She resisted hard the urge to clench them tight. He looked up at her with his
strange black-rimmed gray eyes. He was so close that she could feel the smile
curving his lips.
He breathed deep and Rin felt her self dampen further in response. "Mmm." He
rumbled and his smile widened, "Looks like Santa messed up." Rin sat up a
little propped on her elbow and looked at him wordlessly. He explained. "You
already have your own perfume."
Rin went red, and her eyes grew angry with embarrassment. "Don't make fun." She
wasn't used to her own bodies reactions yet. She wasn't used to her body
dampening, her skin flushing and the different smells that sex produced in her.
It made her uncomfortable when it was pointed out. It made her feel vulnerable,
which she hated. She started to draw her legs back.
Haru's eyes glittered and his hands fell heavy on her thighs keeping her still.
"I'm not making fun. It's such a sweet scent." He buried his nose into her
panties and she gasped as she felt him rub against the crease that separated
her. "They should bottle it." He pulled back at little and smiled. His hands
moved up from her thighs to grasp the edge of her panties and worked them down
determinedly. Then his mouth was on her and Rin's attention was completely
diverted from her embarrassment and anger.
She arched up and curled over him, her arms going to his head to keep him where
he was. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..." She chanted softly to the rhythm of his tongue
working against her driving her out of control. Her forehead rolled against the
back of his neck and her hair fell all around him. He'd played at this kind of
thing before, and it had felt good, but whatever he'd been reading must've been
quite the eye opener. It was certainly turning out that way for Rin.
The first time they'd had sex had been good, if a little painful. The best part
had been afterward, being held so close and being kissed so tenderly. The few
times after had felt better each time as they learned what they'd liked and how
to express it to each other. But this time...
"Oh, oh, FUCK," her body shuddered as she came. Her arms clenched around his
head and shoulders. She felt like she was going to fall to pieces. Her heart
was racing and her whole body was singing. She felt wonderful and awful at the
same time. She'd never felt anything so good, but her body was so out of
control at the same time. She hated losing control. It revealed so much more
then she wanted to show.
Haru felt her tears begin drop and trail down his back, and he drew back
sharply. "Rin?" he said softly, brushing back her hair from her face. He sat up
and peered into her face shocked at the tears coursing down her face. "Rin, I'm
sorry. Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"No. No." She shook her head, "It was good, it was really good. It was fucking
amazing." She brushed his baby soft white hair away from his face. His worried
eyes just continued to stare at her. She wanted to erase that look from his
face; she wanted to be back in control.
She leaned forward and kissed him gently against the lips. She could faintly
taste herself against his lips. She deepened the kiss and slowly backed on to
the bed, taking Haru with her. She felt him settle over her and that bulge was
once again pressing into her. She wrapped her leg over the back of his and
pressed him down letting him feel her warmth through his pants.
He gave a groan and she felt a shudder flow through his body. She shifted,
slowly moving to her side while pressing her body as close as she could between
quick and hungry kisses. Not content to let her do all the 'work' Haru moved
his hands to cover her breasts again, kneading and teasing at her. She slowly
shifted again, reveling in the way her skin felt tight and perfect and so nice
against his. Soon she had him on his back.
She finally broke their kisses and sat up, flinging her hair over her shoulder.
She straddled him, a knee on each side of him supporting most of her weight and
her rear lightly resting on his stomach. His hands had slid down as she moved,
loosely circling her waist.
She smiled down at him, loving how his eyes glittered and glowed from his calm
features. His eyes couldn't stop looking at her, traveling over her body and
her breasts, then back up to her face. He calmly waited for her to make a move
his thumb gently stroking back and forth on the skin of her hip, undemanding.
She could feel just behind her that not all of him was so calm. She wiggled her
rear a little and watched him flinch. She smiled, back in control. "Why
Santa... what is that?" She lifted herself up and moved backwards on his body
so that she was sitting on his legs. She pulled down at his pants, already
unzipped from earlier. "Another gift? For me? You're too generous..." She
slowly worked his pants and boxers down over his generous bulge.
She finally had them down far enough and that his straining erection sprang
free.
She made a little pout. She ran a finger up its underside and watched as Haru's
face clench as it twitched. He'd been holding back quite a bit. "Oh... but I
don't know if it will fit, Santa..." She said playfully. She wrapped a hand
around it lightly, "It's soooo big."
"Now you're making fun." Haru was a little self conscious at how large he was
built. The women had teased when they were children and still young enough to
be bathed in mix company. Dumb as an ox, but at least built like one to
compensate...they'd whisper. Rin hadn't gotten it when she was little, but she
did now.
"Well, I'll have to see if it fits..." She moved her hands up and down over it.
He was trying hard not to pump into her hand. She grinned and lifted herself up
and over to the straining erection.
She slowly lowered herself down until she could feel the head just at her
entrance. She looked him straight in the eye and slowly let herself take it in.
"Oh," she said softly, closing her eyes and letting her head drop forward.
They'd never done it in this position before; she didn't know it would feel so
different. She lowered herself down further reveling in the slow friction. She
let herself keep moving at that slow pace until she felt her buttocks resting
against his legs.
"Ooooh," she said again, she slowly opened her eyes and looked at Haru.
His face was tight with need, eyes shut tight and his hands had left her waist
unnoticed to clench in her sheets. She leaned forward and kissed his chest and
let her breasts rub against his stomach. He groaned as she wiggled her rear.
"Oh, it fits...I'm so happy."
She moved herself up, causing both of them to gasp. This really felt good. She
began a slow rhythm. She straightened as she moved; it felt so good, really
good. Haru's hands came back to her waist as she sped up, releasing him of his
clenching need. His hands circled her waist, helping her find the rhythm that
was good for both of them.
"Rin," he gasped as she drew back almost far enough to pull him out and then
slammed herself back down. "Oh, God, Rin. You're so beautiful." She looked down
at him with wide eyes, unable to stop her movements now even though his words
were heating her flesh to a new level of rosy pink. His eyes were on her now,
and she felt them almost like a physical touch.
She leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the lips, but his hand moved to the
back of her head, keeping her there. His tongue tangled with hers and she moved
her hips quicker in response. His hand moved from her head once he was sure she
wasn't going anywhere. He slowly drew it through her hair and over the skin of
her back. She shivered at the slow and sensual touch. She felt him twitching
inside her and knew he was hanging on by a thread.
She wasn't too far from falling off her own edge. His hands were roaming all
over her now, and any time her mouth wasn't on his he was whispering to her
about how beautiful she was, how wonderful, and how much he loved her. It was
driving her out of her mind and out of control.
The feelings were welling up inside her again, raging out of control. "Stop,
stop." She whispered pulling up from his face a little, "Stop saying that."
"I love you," Haru said again, "I love you Rin. God, I love you."
Rin's tears dropped around his face, but he didn't stop, he just pulled her
back down kissing her hard as he finally burst inside her.
She cried out into his mouth, going into her own orgasm. She fell against him
and he wrapped her tight in his arms. "I do, I do love you." He said softly
into her ear as she shuddered from mix of confused emotions and the warmth and
contentment her body was exuding.
"Why?" She sniffled into his chest, hearing his heart beginning to slow. Her
eyes were drifting shut slowly.
"Because you're so strong, so true." He said softly, feeling her breathing
begin to slow as she drifted to sleep against his chest. "And because Santa
loves all good little girls." He chuckled and he felt her lips twitch into a
smile before he fell asleep too.
When she'd woken up he'd been gone, the only sign he'd been there was the heavy
scent of their lovemaking and the little bottle of perfume on her dresser. It
had been one of the last times they'd been able to be together, and still stood
out as the sweetest and most satisfying.
Rin's eyes were red with remembered tears as she continued to clench this
year's little box. Last year she'd been in the hospital, he'd smuggled in a
gift somehow. She still had it hidden in the bottom of her clothes chest. It
was that doll from the first year, neatly mended. She'd refused to see him or
acknowledge the gift, but she hadn't been able to throw it away.
She picked at the store bought bow at the top. She had to be strong.
But surely it couldn't hurt to see what was inside, a little girl voice inside
her whispered.
The bow popped off in her hands from her constant fidgeting.
Now there was a little paper corner sticking up, she could almost see the box
underneath.
Her breath caught. It was nearly open now... but she couldn't do that, giving
into Santa was like admitting that Haru was still a part of her life and she
couldn't allow that.
She couldn't. But that little paper corner was now calling to that little girl
inside her.
"Oh fuck it." She muttered to herself and tore off the paper. It was just a
gift, it wasn't that important. But then she'd opened it up completely and knew
what a lie that was.
Inside nestled in the paper was a tiny and perfect sculpture of a horse. It was
caught in time as if it was running. It had a small carved base with a silver
plaque etched with the words "So strong, so true." She lifted it out and a
small curl of paper dropped into her lap.
She set the horse down with a shaking hand and picked it up. She slowly
unwrapped the little strip of paper.
"To the best of good little girls, Love Santa." Rin felt the tears roll down
her face. Whatever strength she had now was gone. The next time she saw
him...she'd have nothing left to fight with.
She fingered the little horse. "Mrs. Fucking Santa Claus." Her lips curled into
a smile. That really didn't sound so bad.
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